Talks to remember

As I watched my four year old nephew today, I found myself admiring the naive optimism and the heartfelt trust he had in everyone - a prized trait of mine till two years ago. As I remembered the old me and examined my face in the photos kept all around my home in Blore for amma to see, I noticed a certain spark of liveliness in the brown eyes which looked back frankly into my own, daring me to relive a dream of a happy go lucky girl who liked everyone and didn't worry over the limit so often. Change might be the only constant thing in life - but I sure do detest it!

I wish so much to be strong like some of the women around me. They never shirk their work but manage to do so much in so little time (opposite to my current working abilities!) and manage to have a warm smile and a caring word for every soul they pass by! It is at times when I feel low, all messed up and contrary, some of their pep talks bring back the light in the darkening corners of my mind. Their faith in me brings out a well spring of hope even when I have all but lost confidence in me.

One of these women whom I strongly admire for her frankness and sincere love for others gave me a pale blue opal ring for my wedding. I was rather taken aback by this present but she brushed aside my protests to explain to me the significance behind the gift. The ring, which was her own, was a large opal set in an elaborate framework of gold. She asked me to look at the opal carefully. "On the outside," she said as I looked at the ring slipped onto my little finger, "this stone looks like any other ordinary stone. Every woman thinks that too - that she is as ordinary as the others". Then gently she tilted the ring on my hand till it caught the the light - and suddenly from the depths of the stone shone brilliant sparks of blue, yellow, red and white. The ring was transformed into a sparkling jewel in front of my astonished eyes in the morning sun. "But a woman has something special and unique inside her. No matter what she mustn't forget it. You too have many good qualities in you. They may not be obvious on the surface but they are there all right waiting for you to use them at the right time! This ring will be a reminder to you always. " I have always remembered that for the last 2 years - no matter how things turned out, I would slip on the ring for a few minutes to watch the lights shine beneath the surface of the opal to think, to hope and to wish that all that was good in me too would be so strong one day that it would sparkle like the ring in the morning sun.

Another of the strong women I admire, my mother, today told me to believe in myself and my good traits. Now when I think about it, I wonder how I missed this important point for the last 2 years.Just because the people around me would not believe in me, how could I give up on myself so easily? Maybe what others believe of me or talk about me is not as important to me as what I believe of myself or what I tell myself about myself.